Webmice Bloggery

you don’t like me recording our conversation… but i finally found a reason… last night… in order to fall asleep… i listened to all the recordings… its weird how it can bring back memories and emotions… i laughed at the jokes… i felt sad at those darker times… i felt better after that… its intimate… its something i cant relate to with a picture… i’m weird

i used to think that love means having to give in, abide to, n fulfill all the demands n wishes of ur partner… i am wrong… cos the end product will result in higher expectation n unwillingness to step out of the demands n look at the giver’s heart… hurt… love is about happiness n sharing of joy without accusations from failure to live up to ur demands… n all the minor displeasures… it is not about mind games n heart-wrenching silence… listen… to your heart… it will show the way… in small tugs on its string… that to me is love

My fav female singer… cos she can sing and she is beautiful… love her
Youtube (click here) , MP3 (click here)

Beyonce - Listen

[Verse 1:]
Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can’t complete
Listen
To the sound from deep within
It’s only beginning to find release

[Pre - Chorus 1:]
Oh the time has come
For my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all ’cause you won’t listen

[CHORUS:]
Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I’m not at home in my own home
And I’ve tried and tried to say what’s on my mind
You should have known
Oh now I’m done believing you
You don’t know what I’m feeling
I’m more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I’ve got to find my own

[Verse 2:]
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago

[Pre - Chorus 2:]
Oh I’m screaming out
And my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
bent to your own all ’cause you won’t listen

[CHORUS]

[Bridge:]
I don’t know where I belong
But I’ll be moving on
If you don’t
If you won’t

[CHORUS 2:]
Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start and I will complete
Oh now I’m done believing you
You don’t know what I’m feeling
I’m more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I’ve got to find my own
My own…

this week is emotional for me once again… cos its one year since my grandpa pass away… n i heard from my primary school friend that one of my friend had passed away… n i have known this friend since kindergarten days… you know… life is really that short… i should just go out and do what i want without regrets that i have not done it yet…

i cried that day… i cried not because of my loved ones who passed away… but because i lost… in convincing my previous boss to give leeway to an associate to claim for computer allowance… but my boss says go by the book… n i am just speechless… he could have made the difference… well

and billy although getting better now… is still miles away from his healthy self a few months back… sometimes i wonder if life is that cruel… if each path when left on its own… will turn another way you least expect it… sigh… i have been sighing so much… those smiles on my face are just a facade…

i must treasure people around me more… for i never know when will i talk to them again… or meet them again… i made friends… i lost friends… i found friends… i missed friends…

i will wake up from this dream… happier?

its weekend… and i have a feeling next week will be more stressful… haha i was reading all the testimonials my friends gave me… Sh**! I didnt know i was a stress-up person to them… hahaha… eh… i remember all those days okay… and i miss those moments dearly… if i can experience them again… i would… perhaps put in more effort in keeping in touch… talking about that… i finally found my Primary school friend!!! apparently, he was brought in to work by one of his friend who is my colleague… haha… and what do you know… he keeps in contact with other primary school friends and… hopefully in the next gathering he can ask me to go along… hehe… i wonder how everyone looks now… must be quite different… i look like mosquito then! seriously, my limbs are long and thin then my body is long and narrow and then my head is big… hahaha… those were the weird-looking years… i was an early grown-up boy… when i was in sec 1… i was already hairy on the legs… hahaha and my sec friends was teasing me so much… what names did you call me ah?… i think one of them is mao2 hai2 (hairy kid)… and plucking my leg hairs… i was trying to cover up so much that i bought extra big shorts and ultra long socks… n because of all these teasing… i hated PE lessons… cos BNSS PE shorts are really tiny!!! hahaha… i even kept all my grown hair away from my poly friends… hahaha… and parents … yeah… thats how much damage it did to me mentally… haha.. but all was well when i go to army… i realise these are really not important… i remember my mum was shock one day… when she saw me in berms… it was the first time since primary school… she actually saw flesh on my legs… hahaha… of cos in Uni… i was the t-shirt, berms and slippers guy… who swim so often at src pool that i was so dark… heee… i must have grown up alot… but i still don’t talk much… because i am such an airhead… haha really… i am trying to figure out adulthood… now while working… and eventually… i will feel comfortable….

happy saturday to you, folks!

gee… i must have been through a patchy part of my life… but i am glad it went by quickly…

i’m now in the corporate communications department. never in my life did i envision me crossing from civil engineering studies to human resources and now to corporate communications… kind of weird huh

nowadays i do not know when is my rest day… projects come flowing in like water… i have lost count of what i am doing… or what i have done… perhaps its good to have weekend… at least… i can calm my nerves…

my guess… as to why we aren’t gathering for class reunion nowadays… is we are simply to bochap and busy with our own lives… so i am relying on my blog … haha… my blah blah rubbish bin blog… to let you come into Ben’s world…

can someone please book a chalet soon??? hahaha actually i have plans to do that… but maybe march is not a good month… i have loads of activities in march… maybe april or may… haha or better still… on my birthday… hahaha… does anyone remember? its ok if you dont because i cant remember yours too… haha… except for the occasional reminders from friendster… hahaha… lame huh

how old am i?… eh… almost 28 liao leh… folks… did you forget about me when you get married???? no invite????? at this age… my mum gave birth to me… sigh… looks like i will be very old when my child is my age… and the older i am… the less attractive i am… must be those wrinkles and big pores… eeeee… i don’t like to look at myself close up…

i am really that ugly… sigh… unlike TV serials… where everyone in the show looks desirable… even the so-called made ugly ones… sigh… life is that unfair

i applied to study masters… and i hope i can get it… cos i am really bored… not doing anything after work… lazing around… waiting for my phone to ring… only to have no meaningful words coming from the other end… hey i am that tired lor… my guess is… it will take its toll if this continues… because communication is really important to me… if you can’t concentrate on talking meaningfully to me… what is the point of having the lines engaged? its almost like a dialed phone with no sound after you picked up… i do not like to be patronised.

there… i rest my case